The World Stopped but for a Moment

Today my life sped by in unparalleled color and blurring fusion as a morning I have hoped for and dreaded came and went with barely the inkling of an evidence that my heart had somehow torn and stretched all in a blink as my daughter took up her uniform and her back-pack to go to kindergarten.

Oh, I know, its a little thing... but so was she just yesterday.

When did the little pink tennis shoes that sit on my writing desk and warm my heart get traded for the black leather mary-janes she wore today? When did the precious purple quilted jacket get traded for the plaid of the private school uniform? When did she suddenly grow that tall?!

Each step I remember as if it were just yesterday... and sometimes it feels as if it were. I remember buying each new size of shoe, and the day her acceptance letter came from the school; but oh, how much more quickly it all ensued than my heart had somehow expected.

As she clung to my arms this morning, nothing inside of me wanted to leave her side. It was as if the insides of me were battling with the situation, saying, "Would someone just scoot a grown-up chair over to the end my daughter's table, please? I'm just going to stay and take the class with her!"

I am so proud of my little girl, but sad to the point of tears that press upon the surface of my eyes as I tell them not to fall. I guess that as the grey hair finds me ever-more-quickly, so too must the growth of my children. I wouldn't have it any other way, I know; but the heart within me wonders... for this morning, as she clung to me and I knelt beside her table, we held hands and the world, for me, stopped but for a moment... and there in the suspension of time and space I drank deep of the moment and wondered why it could not have been longer as I reluctantly walked away.

A final whisper, "Ich bin sehr stolz von dir"... and my heart was left on a kindergarten table.

Beauty is for a moment and then it grows and becomes again. And such is the state of the beauty walking through my heart as it giggles and laughs, and grows again, never realizing that my heart has stretched and ached, and smiled along the way.

Ich bin sehr stolz von dir, Jordan! Hoo-ah!

Daddy

A Walk in the Sun

This morning I have that particular delight of spending focused time with my children.  We've cooked pancakes, stirred the batter with chopsticks for no particular reason, watched copious episodes of our favorite cartoons, and finally exhausted our little energies with a nice walk in the sun, up on the levee, overlooking the Mighty Mississippi.

As I held the hands of my children, was repeatedly rewarded with handfuls of rocks and seashells found along the way, and walked the morning away in the ever-heating sun, I found myself enjoying a sense of the true blessings of the Almighty.  I cheered as JeeP showed me how he can "go fast", and wowed and exclaimed over Jordan as she discovered beautiful white seashell after beautiful white seashell... and then accepted their hands back in mine as we continued our walk.  Cyclist after cyclist rode by, but instead of wishing I was training for another triathlon, I found the peace of the love of my children and considered how our walk in the morning sun had become so much more to me.

In the years to come, the expressions of the blessing will undoubtedly change with the growth of them, but for today, it is enough that a smile of the heart was imbued with little hands holding rocks and shells on a walk in the sun.

On a cooler day, we'll walk farther perhaps... but today we have walked together, and that is more than enough.

In the peace of Christ,

John

My Bride

This morning during prayer time, I read about my bride.

Today's readings were wonderful for me.  As we read about the descendants of Levi, the heritage of that house of Israel, and the descendants who fulfilled it, I found myself praying for my own children, and celebrating before the Lord the heritage He has given in their wonderful little lives.  I prayed for them individually, praised God for them, and proceeded to read the rest of the day's Scriptures.  As I journeyed through, I came to Proverbs 19:14... and the face of my bride filled my mind.

"House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord." (Prov. 19:14, NASB)

I waited many years for Penny, because I had from an early age discerned God's calling on my life into the clergy.  I had read from my earliest days about the paths of the Lord's clergy, and of the Bible's standards of a Godly wife.  In the end, I had determined from the time of my youth either to find that person whom God had set aside to work with me, live along side of me, and celebrate life together, praying that He had prepared just such a woman, or to live out my days in this temporal life in the sole intimate companionship of the Lord.  The day I met her, my soul jumped with fireworks.  A woman of beauty, of joy, of strength, and as the Proverbs said today, of prudence, or understanding, stood before me and suddenly worked along side of me!

Far beyond the blessings of this world, are the blessings of a good wife; and such are the blessings which God has attended unto me.

May my children, and their children to them be so blessed, and may the blessings of my God be visited continuously upon the bride who fulfills the heart of my youth and the joy of my grey.

Pax Christi,

John

The Cross of Christ - Part IV

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The 4th Sermon in the One Sermon Series by Rev. John

Back in the Saddle

This morning, I was awakened to the gentle nudge of my bride, the gleeful tones of my children playing, and the smell of fresh-brewed chicory coffee... it's been a good morning!

I got up and walked into the kitchen to receive a kiss from Penny, and hugs from the kids, and I found there at my chair a gift they had all prepared for Daddy while I was on the road from Sunday evening 'till yesterday morning.  Hanging over the back of my chair, was a beautiful pair of US Cavalry Saddlebags, circa 1915-ish, from the US 109th, which have miraculously lived out the last near-century in someone's barn in relatively perfect aged condition!  Inside of each saddle bag, was a picture of me with each of my children, in frames they painted themselves, and on top, slid gently beneath one of the straps, was a note from my bride... now that's somethin' to wake up to: old leather & a love note from my bride, and presents from my children!  And lest I fail to mention it, a necklace my daughter made for me (and yes, I'm wearing it right along with my Barbie band-aid!)  It was enough to get this old Texan emotional.

As I left this morning, then, I packed my saddle bags with the books, and needed accoutrements, of the day, and wondered how many times they had been packed by their original GI in the old US 109th.  I thought about the fact that so often the old things just seem to work better than the new things.  How an old wind up swiss watch will tend to keep perfect time, how real books don't "crash" and get lost on a computer's hard-drive when a virus hits (if you're not a mac user of course), and how almost 100 year old leather, properly cared for, is immediately ready to get right back in the saddle again... only this time carrying the Bible of a simple clergyman in his Jeep.

This morning's reading in the Scriptures was, in part, about the days of Moses, how old he was when he got his 'big assignment' and so forth.  I guess its impossible to tell whether we're at the beginning of our life's 'big assignment', at the end of it, or even in the middle, but I know this thing for certain, that when I slung my saddle bags over my shoulder, I was glad they had been tested, I was honored to bring them back into service, and their beauty is in the scars earned from many a trail ridden to guard the freedom my children now enjoy.

Perhaps as good leather grows better with good aging, so my soul grows closer to God with years along the journey... and in the end, it's simply good to be in the saddle, on the trail of the Almighty, and packed well for duty.

May God go before us all on the journey he has set before us!

Pax Christi!

John

I Love My Boots...

This mornin' I got up, took a shower, and got dressed.  The last things I put on were my boots.  Truth is, I love my boots.  I've got two pair thanks to my sweet bride... my Dan Posts are my preachin' and sparkin' boots, and my Ariats keep my feet all kinds of comfortable on those days I can just relax.

My boots tell a lot about me, I guess.  Around once a year, I have to have my Posts resoled 'cause I wear 'em clean out; and the toes of my Ariats get scuffed every day... hence the oiled leather so I can get 'em looking good again.  They're more comfortable today than they were a year ago, and in ten or fifteen years, I'll have 'em just right... and no, don't even think I'll consider throwing them away for a new pair!

Of course, there'll be new pairs of boots along the trail, but the memories and dances that the old square toes of my Posts will hold by then will be too many to let me get rid of 'em.  Eventually, they won't look good enough to wear when I'm preachin'; and one Friday night I'll reluctantly retire them from date night.  They'll sit in my closet and wait for the days when I can sit in the back yard, smoke a cigar that brings back too many memories, kick up my feet in a chair and let the leather tell me the stories we've lived together.  Every line and crease tellin' about a trail we road, a saddle we sat, a dance where I held my girl tight for a waltz in Fredericksburg and kicked a little saw-dust around the floor doing the jitter-bug.  We'll talk out a pipe about the shores of the Mississippi down in the Frenchman's part of town, and they'll help me to remember the long, sweet fingers of my bride laced into mine like the stitching of good tack.

Many cities have seen the soles, and they could tell you stories you'll never get to hear... but I'll listen on mornin's like these; in times when JeeP's big enough to wear 'em for himself, and I finally give 'em to him, I'll just see him wearin' them like a pants leg when he's two, and remember Jordan bringing them to me in mornings already fading way too quickly.

Yes, I love my boots... as good on the trail as they are on the dance floor!  Made in Texas... right to wear even if you have to go to New York City!  I'll take my Posts into a cajun shoe-maker today, and they'll be good for another year!

May the trail be easy enough to ride and tough enough to enjoy!

John

My Pipe

Yesterday morning I found my favorite pipe!

Since our recent move to New Orleans, I had lost the very first pipe Penny ever bought for me, my favorite vintage Ben Wade Meerschaum Jambo pipe.  I discovered this particular pipe on my favorite web-site some years ago being sold out of an old pipe store in England... it was "New Old Stock" which meant that it was made back when a Ben Wade was really something to smoke, but that it had been sitting there for about 45 years just waiting for me to send an auction reminder gently over to my bride's e-mail... and to my complete delight, she took the hint!!!

It really does smoke like a dream... just cool enough in the hand, perfect temperature for the tobacco, and now beginning to turn that wonderful golden brown that meerschaum has long been known to achieve.  And for the past weeks, I've thought that I had lost it until yesterday morning when I reached into the sport-coat I chose and found that beautiful work of art!

Today is a study day for me at the office.  I love opening up to the new week's text in Scripture on Monday... its a fresh adventure into the ancient, and this morning was no disappointment.  I had plenty of fodder to dig through the Greek and Hebrew, the differentiations of the original Davidic text being quoted by the Christ, and the distinctions of Yahweh to Father when travelling from the Psalms to Luke's account of the Gospel.  I inked up my fountain pens, wrote notes in the margins of my beautiful new goatskin bound Cambridge Bible, and settled into a glorious little banter of translation and interpretation at my desk.

Its not a bad way to spend a morning... and it reminded me a few minutes ago of my old meerschaum pipe.  Even as the pipe smokes smoother the longer I smoke it, so do the pages of Holy Scripture grow clearer and more beautiful every week as the grand adventure draws me ever onward.  Little things jump out at me from old, ancient words, capturing my mind and inviting me to celebrate with those who have gone before me.  So long as I will journey the path before me, I find the fellowship of those who have been there ahead of me... and it is, for me, a glorious journey.

I wonder how that old pipe will smoke in twenty years... and I wonder what new, indeed truly ancient, discoveries I will find in these same texts those same twenty years from now.  Whatever lies beneath the surface upon which now I stand, I await the next discovery and revel in the jewels I have been shown today.

My the journey make you strong and yield great discoveries; and may the grace of Christ be with you today!

John